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Grapefruit Moon

In the early 1990s, when I was young and indestructible, on Thursday nights — and occasionally Wednesdays, and Tuesdays, sometimes on Fridays if we had a big enough group to take over the tables in the back but never, ever on Saturdays, when the weekend assholes were given rights to the place — it was my habit to visit, with a friend or ten, a bar called Milano’s, on East Houston Street in New York City.

I haven’t set foot in the place since I moved to Seattle in 1998, but a quick Google informs me that Milano’s is still in existence, and a brief glimpse at Yelp turns up two recent reviews with the lines, “Cheap Beer, Good Juke box, you don’t have to put the toilet seat down when you’re done,” and “I love seeing the old, old man in the corner getting his rocks glass refilled with Jack over and over in a period of 30 minutes, and still not stumbling out the door,” which in the absence of additional information makes me believe the place hasn’t changed much since my last round at the narrow, then-smoky bar.

As I’ve written before, both here and over at the NY Times’ Proof blog, Milano’s played a major role in my formative drinking years. It was never the kind of place you wanted to start out the evening — unless you were willing to let that evening take a very weird turn — but I finished up countless nights there, many of them bleeding into morning, with the dim light coming up over the East River as we staggered out trailing cigarette smoke and beer fumes and cursing whoever first suggested hitting the bar on a weeknight.

It also wasn’t (and presumably still isn’t) a place where you ordered a cocktail — at least, nothing more ambitious than a Jack and Coke. This was fine by me at the time — aside from the occasional glass of bourbon or scotch, I was primarily a beer drinker back then, and when ordering my first pint at the bar I basically had two choices for where to take the evening: Bass or Guinness. Usually, Bass won out, if for no other reason than that it’s possible to drink a lot it without feeling like you just swallowed an iron stove, but on some nights only the bracing rigor of stout would do, sometimes — but not often — with a backup of Jim Beam in case it was someone’s birthday or they’d just quit their job (whether voluntarily or not) or there was some other reason for celebration and/or just extra drinking. It wasn’t fancy, but it was beer and whiskey; throw in the Holy Ghost and you’ve got yourself a trinity, and a full-blown religion can’t be far behind.

Today isn’t my birthday, and it’s been more than two years since I quit my job, but we do have something to celebrate, kind of: it’s Mixology Monday, this time hosted by Andrew Bohrer over at Caskstrength. Andrew came up with possibly the most challenging MxMo theme we’ve had in the four years of running the event: instead of picking a type of spirit, or a particular flavor, or some kind of conceptual edge for the event, Andrew picked a person – and not just any person; no, Andrew is basing this month’s event on the patron bard of booze and smokes (who, ironically or actually not so much when you really think about it, swore off the stuff almost 20 years ago): Tom Waits.

You can read Andrew’s reasoning behind the concept over at his site, but I was first turned onto Tom Waits’ music about a month after my 21st birthday, so I’ve been an ardent fan of his raspy weirdness for pretty much all of my legal drinking life. As far as I can recall from my time there in the ‘90s, Milano’s never had any of Waits’ music on the jukebox — it was much more a Sinatra and Pogues kind of place, and given the fly-in-amber quality of the best dive bars, those same songs are presumably blasting over the bar’s speakers right now. But at the bar, while sitting next to the 70-year-old guy who was there every fucking night from 5pm until the 4am close, grinning at every pretty woman who walked by and occasionally knocking over his barstool while getting into a shuffling pretense of a fistfight with the 80-year-old guy sitting on the other side of him, you were pretty much sitting inside a Waits song from his boozy era in the ‘70s.

Tom Waits doesn’t drink anymore, and I’m not sure how he’d feel about this little online cocktail event that’s taking place in his honor, but part of the event is to come up with a drink suitable for the theme, so here’s mine: Grapefruit Moon. Named for a maudlin bawler on Waits’ first album (titled, appropriately, Closing Time), the drink was kind of a bitch to come up with, and here’s why: the concept of anything as fussy as a cocktail seems grossly out of place with so much of the sentiment found in Waits’ music, especially the early, boozy stuff. But, this is the gig, so I set a few ground rules for myself: first, my drink had to have some bearing on my own dive-bar experiences as noted above, for it to have some personal connection; and second, the drink can’t be too complex or have anything you wouldn’t reasonably find in a basic bar (or, as backup, something you’d be able to buy in a neighboring 24-hour deli).

I started off working with the two basic things I drank way back then: beer and bourbon. Bass was tempting, but ultimately stout won out as an accompaniment to the whiskey. Then there was the name: Grapefruit Moon has been a regular on my CD player and iPod for around 15 years; add to that its sense of barroom presence, plus it has a fucking drink ingredient in the name, and I needed no further rationale to justify grabbing that as a name, provided I could factor grapefruit into the combination somehow (and any bar that can put together a Salty Dog is gonna have a can of grapefruit juice around somewhere).

Interestingly (to me, at least), coming up with the final recipe was easier than I thought: bourbon and stout are natural friends, and grapefruit matches with bourbon in the Brown Derby (named after the former bar and restaurant in L.A., which also kind of makes sense for this whole Tom Waits theme, kind of). Sticking closely to the “ingredients you’d find in a basic bar” idea, I initially just dribbled in a little sugar to sweeten the mix; stepping away from that concept just a tiny bit, I found the drink works somewhat better if you use a barspoon or so of maple syrup — not a common ingredient, I grant you, but it gives the drink that Nighthawks at the Diner eggs-and-bacon connection that I’m going to stick with for now (plus, to hark back to my old Milano’s reference, there’s a 24-hour deli on the corner; if it comes down to it, just grab a bottle of Log Cabin off the shelf the next time you step out for a smoke and bring it back with you). Toss everything on top of some crushed ice (or, realistically, that mushy bar ice) in a beer glass and you’re golden.

Grapefruit Moon

  • 1 1/2 ounces bourbon
  • 1 1/2 ounces grapefruit juice
  • 1 barspoon simple syrup or maple syrup (to taste, depending on the brand of stout you use)
  • 2-3 ounces chilled stout

Mix bourbon, grapefruit and sweetener in a shaker. Shake well with ice and strain into a pilsner glass or tall beer glass filled with crushed ice. Top with chilled stout.

Surprisingly, this is a pretty damn good drink – I’ll even mix this after MxMo is over. Now head on over to Andrew’s site and see what other drinks and stories people came up with for this round of Mixology Monday.

The 25 Most Influential Cocktails of the Past Century

Drinks aren’t something you should get too sentimental about. Tastes change, products come and go, and that bright-pink thing you couldn’t get enough of last summer is now considered a punch line in every bar in town. Change happens, and over the past century change has happened in the drinks world more rapidly than ever. But as our cocktail books and iPhone apps have grown bloated with thousands of recipes, patterns have emerged, families have been formed, and it’s become clear that on some level we’re still drinking the same things as before.

I posted about this earlier this week over at Serious Eats, but to follow up here (since I’m rediscovering this blogging thing again): my cover story in the May/June issue of Imbibe is, “The 25 Most Influential Cocktails of the Past Century,” covering drinks created (mostly) since 1910 that, in some way, have left a notable mark on the way we drink, whether that’s in the form of descendents and variations, or in the way bartenders and drinkers think about drink composition and ingredients, or in the lingering (or now defunct) trends a particular drink may have influenced. The list was initially chosen by myself, was vetted through the good folks at Imbibe to argue out the details, and was given further review by Greg Boehm, one of the most knowledgeable and history-oriented cocktail geeks on the planet.

The 100-year cutoff was admittedly arbitrary, but it posed its own set of challenges: by requiring the drinks on the list to have been created (or, in the many cases when it’s nigh impossible to settle on a particular cocktail’s date of genesis, to have entered broad circulation) after 1910, this eliminated some of the biggest and most obvious influences in the mixological canon: the Manhattan, the Daiquiri, the Martinez, the Old Fashioned and the Sazerac, and that whole world of punch. The Martini got a pass because it was still developing in the first decade of the 20th century and the mix of gin and dry vermouth didn’t obtain the “Martini” sobriquet until sometime around that first decade, but also because the Martini evolved so significantly over the course of the century that the drink ordered by the Don Drapers of the 1960s was markedly different from the Hoffman House variations that were in early circulation. Likewise, who the hell knows when the first Cuba Libre or Caipirinha was mixed? Without a precise birthdate, I tried to track down some of the earliest mentions of such drinks to see when they started appearing in (primarily American and/or European) bars, and each of these fell after the 1910 mark; there may be further proof about the earlier origins of these drinks, but if it’s out there, I didn’t find it.

The folks over at Serious Eats have gone to town in commenting on this list, suggesting their own most influential drinks of the past century, with some straying widely from the mark (an 1860 Martini? I don’t think so) and others making a good case for why one drink and not another should be on the list. Surprisingly, however, I’ve only received one e-mail regarding my selection of drinks, from which I’ll quote directly:

The 25 cocktails article is BAD, no worst than bad, it sucks and a kiss up to the small based fans of Paul Clarke (who ever the hell he is, another wanabee who has done nothing but have a lousy web site) How long has he been in this business? Has he heard of the Rusty Nail […] The Manhattan? Fuzzy Navel? and many more. Never heard of the Red Hook, Last Word or Saunders’ Gin-Gin Mule. I checked with other Bars and Bartenders who have been in the business for over 15 years, neither have they ! PLEASE I know everyone has his opinion. His sucks.

What do you think? (Really, even if you hated the story your comment can’t be more harsh than that, so don’t even try.) What drinks do you think deserve a place on this list, and which ones do you disagree with altogether? There’s an argument for the inclusion of each drink on the list, which I’m happy to share if asked (nicely — seriously, I’m done with the ill behavior the Internet seems to invite, and if you’re an asshole about something, your comment will be politely jettisoned and your existence on this earth denied).

And since the whole article isn’t posted online, and linking back to the magazine’s site earned me accusations of “whoring the magazine” over at Serious Eats, I’ll post the list here, arranged, as it is in the magazine, roughly by decade — but if you want a freebie on all the text and recipes, you’re just gonna have to wait for the PDF, cheapskate.

  1. Dry Martini
  2. Cuba Libre
  3. Mojito
  4. Alexander
  5. Singapore Sling
  6. Aviation
  7. Sidecar
  8. Margarita
  9. Bloody Mary
  10. Negroni
  11. Last Word
  12. Zombie
  13. Bellini
  14. Mai Tai
  15. Moscow Mule
  16. Irish Coffee
  17. Kangaroo
  18. Caipirinha
  19. Harvey Wallbanger
  20. Pina Colada
  21. Long Island Iced Tea
  22. B-52
  23. Cosmopolitan
  24. Gin-Gin Mule
  25. Red Hook

I’ve been doing this for five years? Really? Damn…..

Five years ago, more or less – not surprisingly, I’m running a few days behind on getting this post together – in a moment sparked almost equally by inspiration and boredom, I created a Blogspot account, typed up my musings on David Wondrich’s then-latest book (Killer Cocktails, at the time), and posted it online to be read by … well, mainly just me.

Now, having just reached the fifth anniversary of what became The Cocktail Chronicles, I have a mixed bag of results: hundreds of posts, scores of drink recipes, a daily readership that’s ranged from one to several thousand, more media attention than I deserve, about $4.50 in advertising revenue and a full-time writing career that owes quite a bit to this blog.

Five years in, I also have a dwindling enthusiasm for spending my free time doing much the same thing I do in my work life, almost no patience for the pubic lice of the Internet who seem to visit blogs looking only for items that will incense them into posting hateful comments, a fatigue with the incessant barrage of press releases pushing new types of booze that would be grossly out of place on this blog, and a lingering sense of guilt that I haven’t blogged about the countless ideas, suggestions, samples, people and experiences that I’ve come across during the half-decade I’ve been running The Cocktail Chronicles.

Five is a milestone year; if it were a child, my blog would be losing its baby teeth and asserting greater independence about now, and indeed there are times when The Cocktail Chronicles feels like a creature distinct from me, something that for a long time has been an outgrowth of my interests and my personality, but which now – due primarily to the time and effort required to keep up such an operation, coupled with my fatigue at doing the same – feels out of sync with what I’m really thinking and doing.

I’ll spare you the full extent of my bloggy navel-gazing, but suffice it to say that as this blog’s fifth anniversary approached, among the options I considered for its observation was the decision to whack it entirely. One day, it would be there, with the recipes for cutting-edge drinks I blogged about back in 2006 or 2007 that are now ubiquitous and even dated; and the next, like Paul Harrington’s belated cocktail section on Wired, The Cocktail Chronicles would be dissembled, its components scuttled into the dark depths of Internet oblivion. The idea of blogicide had a morbid allure, but ultimately – whether it’s because I still see value in the idea of maintaining the blog, or because I simply don’t know when to shut up – it’s an option I cast aside.

Anyway – enough with the Tim Burton-style necrodynamics. The Cocktail Chronicles is still here, it’s five years old (which in blog years is somewhere around 112) – whoopee! I haven’t forgotten my login password and I still drink more kickass drinks than I can reasonably expect to type up during my free time, so I’ll keep the old girl running for a while longer yet just to see where it may take us all.

Thanks for coming along these past five years, or however long you’ve been visiting the site. I’m not sure I can promise five more, but I have at least a few more good rounds left in me. Cheers.

MxMo Tom Waits — hold on, this’ll be interesting

For the third time this year, Mixology Monday is being hosted by a Seattle bartender with a blog — and for May’s event (which takes place May 24), it’s Andrew Bohrer at Caskstrength who’s up to bat, and Andrew has selected Tom Waits as the theme.

I know, it stumped me too, at first.

But hey, we’re four years into Mixology Monday, and we’ve already hit most of the obvious drink inspirations, so a MxMo devoted to the bard of booze isn’t too far-fetched. As Andrew writes in his announcement post,

Let the bawdy, lovely, peculiar and obvious late night life inspire you to tell a favorite drinking tale while listening to, or being inspired by Tom Waits. Waits 40 years of drinking tunes to choose from.

In other words, while this MxMo is about drink, as always, it’s about much more — it’s about your favorite drinking stories, and the places and people that define your late, hazy nights, past or present. Even if you’re not a Waits fan and have no interest in his music — yes, I’ve heard such people exist — if you’re reading this blog then you likely have spent your fair share of nights on a bar stool. Let’s hear about one of your favorites.

To participate, have your post up on your blog by Monday, May 24; be sure to let Andrew know you participated by leaving a comment on his announcement post, and don’t forget to link back to the Mixology Monday site and Andrew’s site while you’re at it. Cheers–


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